


At Peace

by silversoul_snow



Series: 30 Days Of JJ Project (and GOT7) [3]
Category: GOT7, JJ Project
Genre: Angst, Established Relationship, Hurt/Comfort, Illnesses, M/M, Major Illness, Terminal Illnesses
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-06-03
Updated: 2016-06-03
Packaged: 2018-07-12 00:28:38
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,510
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7077001
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/silversoul_snow/pseuds/silversoul_snow
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>All of them somehow sensing a clock ticking down somewhere.</p><p>Or AKA Jaebum doesn't want to let Jinyoung go, but it's for the best.</p>
            </blockquote>





	At Peace

**Author's Note:**

> I have a small confession to make. Yeah, you will still get 30 days of JJ Project, just that they won’t really be continuous coz well… *stares at 9k words of planning for one fic*. Yeah, the drabble idea failed epically. And you have long fics to look forward to now.

**At Peace**

 

He was grateful. Oh so grateful.

It would be a lie to say that he was happy when the tear tracks on his face proved otherwise.

But he _was_ grateful.

Yes, it was _unfair_ that it had to happen to _him_. And at such a young age too. But what was done was done, and the choice, despite how wrong it seemed, was for the best.

It certainly did beat watching his lover suffer quietly under the relentless wrath of cancerous cells.

 

_Park Jinyoung._

_Age: 25._

_Time of death: September 23rd, 00.17am._

 

It was three years ago when Jinyoung suddenly collapsed in the middle of practice, leaving the members in a frenzy. Jaebum was thankful that it didn't happen while the other was doing a flip, for that might have caused some terrible injuries. The gratitude faded quickly though when the younger failed to respond to his calls.

He had no idea how he had managed to calm the other members down and got Youngjae to call an ambulance.

But he did it.

They had chalked it up to exhaustion at first, sure that it was nothing a few days of rest wouldn't heal. And so the management gave them a well-deserved break, one that all them utilized fully.

They had thought that Jinyoung was in the clear, that everything was alright and things went back to normal.

Until Jinyoung fainted again one month later. This time, in the middle of a photoshoot.

Once again, someone called the ambulance. However, this time, JYP thought that something might be off and insisted for a full checkup.

The news wasn't good.

_Jinyoung had cancer. And it was stage 3._

Surprisingly, Jinyoung himself took the news better than his members did.

Jackson threw a tantrum, asking god why it was so unfair for this to be happening to them.

Yugyeom and Bambam just broke down into tears.

Youngjae gasped and then poured himself into research on what he could do to make Jinyoung feel better.

And Mark. Mark simply stared at the younger as if he had no idea what Jinyoung had just said.

(Maybe he didn't, due to his limited Korean. But Jaebum didn't think so, when he walked in on Mark expressing his frustration and helplessness at the situation by practicing flips over and over again.)

It was only at night when the rest of the members were in their rooms after that long day that Jinyoung poured out all his fears and tears to Jaebum - how scared he was when he heard it. Not for himself but for the people around him, how there were so many things that he wanted to do but oh so little time, and how he wanted to spend it all with his loved ones, especially Jaebum.

That was _his_ Jinyoung. Always putting others before him.

And Jaebum himself?

He held Jinyoung in his arms throughout the entire night, pressing kisses against the other's forehead. He only allowed his own tears to flow when he was sure that Jinyoung was fast asleep.

 

Jinyoung wanted for them to continue with their activities. They had been in the middle promoting their new album and were about to embark on a concert tour. Of course, none of the members agreed, but no one said anything wisely.

(Youngjae stepped on Bambam's foot when he was about to open his mouth to protest.)

The words _it might be my last tour_ were left unsaid.

But everyone heard it anyway.

And so they put on bigger smiles, laughed and joked more to make this particular tour count. Jaebum watched over his members with a sense of pride, while keeping an eye out for Jinyoung.

Between rehearsals and stages, there were stolen kisses and quick touches. In dressing rooms, backstage, toilets, _anywhere_ , the members turning a blind eye when both of them stumbled into the same room at night.

(Youngjae simply gave an understanding smile when Jaebum apologized for leaving him alone in their room and replied that he slept in Yugyeom's and Bambam's room instead. That empty hotel room was used for their games. Which was a good thing seeing how rowdy GOT7 games always seemed to get.)

 

But they were on a countdown.

It seemed as if Jinyoung had been holding himself back, for the sake of the fans, the concert, the tour. When the curtain closed for the final time on their last stop, Seoul, their _home_ , he dropped to the ground like a stone. This time, the members' reaction were much quicker.

Not that it was something exactly for Jaebum to be proud of, given the circumstances of the past situations.

 

_It had progressed to stage 4._

 

Stage 4. The final stage. There was no turning back.

Unsurprisingly, Jinyoung had rejected chemotherapy. He claimed that he preferred to spend his last year traveling the world and being with friends and family than being stuck in a white room. Of course, everyone around him protested, but Jinyoung was stubborn. He always had been. The doctor had given him nine months at most before he had to be back in the hospital.

Nine months, Jinyoung had said, laughing. Nine months in mom's womb to be born and nine months in the world to die.

Only he could find the irony in such a situation.

Jaebum would like to say that he thought Jinyoung had spent all those nine months wonderfully. He wouldn't know for sure since Jinyoung had taken two months to be with just his family, two months to be with GOT7 and then five months with only Jaebum.

He had felt guilty, but not regretful, _never_ _regretful_ , that he was the one who got to spend the most time with Jinyoung. But everyone had understood.

 

Those five months were like a dream. Just them against the world. Them in their own little world with each other being their center of existence.

And Jaebum didn't want it to end.

But he could see the toll that it was having on Jinyoung.

On good days, Jinyoung could climb up the small flight of stairs to the house that they had rented in the middle of god knows where but with beautiful scenery, (as per Jinyoung's request,) panting and slightly sweating.

On bad days, he could hardly even get out of bed. There were so many times that Jaebum had wanted to call the trip off and simply get Jinyoung to the hospital. But he kept his mouth shut, knowing how being stuck in the hospital would kill his lover more than cancer.

Jinyoung was a free spirit after all.

So it was with slight relief and great trepidation when those nine months had come to an end, and they had to return to the hospital.

Through all these trying times, Jinyoung was still his smiling, cheerful self, looking out for the others even when himself wasn't feeling well.

GOT7 had celebrated his 25th birthday in the hospital room, ( _you're a quarter of a century_! - Jackson), and they had left Jaebum alone with Jinyoung once the party died down.

All of them somehow sensing a clock ticking down somewhere.

 

_Jinyoung's time was ticking._

 

As the clock passed midnight, Jaebum had moved his chair closer to Jinyoung's bed, only to met with an unimpressed glare as Jinyoung opened the covers with shaking hands. Not wanting his lover to overexert himself, he had obeyed and slipped onto the bed, pulling the younger against him.

He was so fragile, so much thinner than before.

"You're 25 years old now, Jinyoungie."

"I feel old." He chuckled as he tilted his head up, silently asking for a kiss.

Jaebum could never say no to him.

 

_5._

 

"When I'm gone, look after the members for me, please."

"Jinyoung ah, I - "

"Please hyung. Just listen. There isn't much time left."

 

_4._

 

"Make sure Mark doesn't hurt himself when he does the flips. And he might not know it yet, but he has the potential to be a great actor, and eventually, win an Oscar or something."

"Jackson, make sure that he eats something between all those schedules that he gets invited to."

 

_3._

 

"And when Youngjae gets offered a solo album, make sure he accepts it."

"As for Bambam, keep him in check with all that clothes. I swear at times that kid is worse than a girl."

"Yugyeommie ah, make sure Jackson doesn't bully him too much. Even though I'm sure, he can handle himself. He wanted to be a fashion designer, did you know that hyung? I'm sure he would be invited to Milan for a fashion week or something."

 

_2._

 

"Now that I'm gone, you'll have to make sure that my sisters find a good boyfriend that meets your approval. And tell dad not to be so harsh on that. And that I'm alright, mom. I'm gonna be in a better place. And I love them all."

 

_1._

 

"Never forget that I love you, for as long as forever lasts."

 

Jinyoung was at peace at last, and for that, Jaebum was grateful.

**Author's Note:**

> On a side note, I AM BACK FROM PARIS KCON AND IT WAS GOLD. V THREW HIS WATER AT US OMG. *SCREAMS*. Fancams will be uploaded soon.  
> Betaed - 09/05/2017


End file.
